On weekends I very often go to a local park to eat my breakfast. There is a small lake there, popular with fishermen and Canada geese. It’s a peaceful place to spend a bit of my morning and a pleasant way to start my day.
I usually just sit in my car, eating my breakfast and reading whatever I brought along to read, though I do occasionally sit at a picnic table or take a walk around the lake (a bit tedious with a bad knee). This morning I was in my car reading and happened to look up to see a woman with a camera walking along the edge of the lake nearest me. She was wandering among the rushes and weeds along the shore, taking pictures, I can only assume, of bugs, dragonflies, flowers, etc.
It was almost as though the universe decided to play back for me a bit of my recent history. This same scene was one I had lived almost ten years ago. My sweetie loved taking pictures of nature, in particular the same subjects that appeared to fascinate the woman I was watching. She was even about the same shape, size and hair color as my sweetie had been at that time.
It took me by surprise and brought a few tears to my eyes, along with sighs of resignation. How sad that she can no longer take pleasure in her photographic pastime, or any other pastime for that matter. It kindled in me, once again, a great sense of loss, to know that I will never see her holding her camera again.
It’s been over a year since she has passed, though, and although I miss her all the time and have bouts of wishing it were not so, I have started to adapt to her absence. I was able to sit and enjoy watching the woman taking pictures and be grateful for the memories it elicited. Indeed, I almost wanted to go over to her and thank her, but it would have spoiled the mood, and would probably have caused her to break out the pepper spray.
After a bit I went back to reading and when I looked up a short time later, the woman was gone. I had neither seen where she had come from nor where she went to, so who knows? Maybe it was my sweetie making a guest appearance just to keep me thinking of her. (And no, I don’t really believe that, but it’s a happy fantasy.)
Rather than turn my day into a pity party, it made me think about how we should all be doing what we enjoy doing . . . now! Be grateful for the time you have and don’t waste it on stuff that doesn’t matter. It was a good beginning for the day.